


Scars on His Skin

by Robinsreese



Category: DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: BAMF Hal Jordan, Barbara Gordon is Oracle, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Green Lantern Kyle Rayner, Jason Todd Deserves Better, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd-centric, M/M, Protective Hal Jordan, Protective Oliver Queen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27730141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robinsreese/pseuds/Robinsreese
Summary: Jason has a lot of issues, and there's a lot he won't ever admit to out loud. He's a mess, and everyone around him knows it.His so-called family threw him away and what's to say his found one won't do the same.But no matter how hard he tried, he can't seem to bottle up these feelings he's got for a certain red-headed archer.His past haunts him still and his future is looking pretty lonesome if he messes up one more time.
Relationships: Artemis of Bana-Mighdall & Bizarro (DCU) & Jason Todd, Connor Hawke/Kyle Rayner, Dinah Lance/Oliver Queen, Hal Jordan & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Everyone, Kyle Rayner & Jason Todd, Lian Harper & Roy Harper & Jason Todd, Past Donna Troy/Kyle Rayner - Relationship, Past Donna Troy/Roy Harper, Past Roy Harper/Koriand'r - Relationship, Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd
Kudos: 197





	1. The First to Admit

**Author's Note:**

> Basically if everything bad that happened to Jason was rolled into one and he acknowledges it:
> 
> Jason at 15: dies by Joker  
> 16: Crawls out of his grave and is thrown in Lazurus  
> 17: He confronts Batman and gets his neck sliced  
> 18: Starts the Outlaws and at some point is at Arkham  
> 19: Batman beats him for both the penguin thing and the damian thing  
> 20: Now, where Jason deserves some therapy 
> 
> NOTES:
> 
> In my mind Outlaw island is closer to Coast City which is on the other side of the country from Gotham
> 
> I picture the Outlaws living together until Jason or one of the others drags a few of them around for various missions and the like.
> 
> That being said, while Donna is considered an Outlaw she doesn't live with them often, and Barbara is only an honorary member since she helps whenever they need her expertise.
> 
> As for Roy, he dated Donna before Lian was even born, and him and Kori were an on-again-off-again kind of friends-with-benefits at the beginning of the formation of the Outlaws
> 
> Okay, I think thats it

* * *

Everyone always assumes Jason's an emotionally constipated ass, unable to express positive feelings towards the people he cares about. One thing that he apparently inherited from living with Bats all those years ago but Jason knows he's not. How can he be? You can't be emotionally constipated if you can say it in your head, if you can admit it to yourself.

He knows he's in love with Roy.

He knows and he also knows he'll do anything for Lian and the domestic life he accidently created with them. So just because he knows these things, doesn't mean he isn't aware that if he tries to confront Roy on these feelings he's had for a while, if he's honest, this entire family situation they've unintentionally built could go up in flames. Leaving Jason without either of them and potentially without the other Outlaws too.

Jason drags one hand through his curly hair while his other pulls the cigarette away from his mouth, blowing out the nicotine from his burning lungs in satisfaction, Jason swings his legs back and forth atop of a skyrise building. His new helmet equally red as his old one next to him. This was probably why people thought the Bats brood too much, they only ever admit these kinds of things in their head.

Another trait he inherited from his shitty old man.

"Jaybird, Jaybird you there?," buzzed his comm, Roy's the only one these days that ever bothers to check up on him during patrols in case he needs someone to have his back. Roys voice had a tint of that happy-go-lucky edge to it, nothing to alert Jason that something might be wrong. He's glad that at least someone in his life has it though Jason would hate to know what Roy would sound like without it.

He tosses his cigarette bud away off the building and picks up his helmet to put on, so he could answer back with, "Yeah, I'm here".

He stopped associating with anything Bat related after the beating he got from the old bastard about Penguin months ago and hasn't bothered to reach out since, not that anyone on their side had either. Not even Alfred, though he should have guessed that between him and the big Bats Alfred will always pick the son he raised over the street rat he got stuck with.

Doesn't hurt anyless since Jason still loves him despite it.

"Could you pick up some milk?"

"What?"

"Milk? Lian and Biz want pancakes for breakfast tomorrow and we ran out,"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get some when I'm finished."

"Great! Oh, before I forget, Kyle called and said he's visiting the week after next, said he'll be staying for a while when he gets back from whatever alien planet he managed to get reception from."

Just what he needed, the only people who know about his little Roy problem are the rest of the Outlaws, excluding Bizarro, Jason knows it's what happens when you live close with people who's job it is to be observant to their surroundings. Of the four of them that hes talked about it with, Kyle is the only one who likes to give him a hard time about it.

Right in front of an oblivious Roy Harper.

"That's so great, my second least favourite Lantern." Jason replies dryly, the normal banter when it comes between Kyle and him.

He hears laughter on the other side, while he decides to grappled down to an alley. And gets the hell out of there before someone spots him and drags him screaming and kicking back to Arkham. He starts his trekk back to his bike to find some twenty-four hour convienence store in Coast city,so he could later make his way back to Outlaw Island.

Which surprised him too, when he had woken up from his three and a half week coma. He found out all but this Green Lantern had agreed to drag Jason back to Gotham if they found him in their city. But Hal Jordan has been good to him, to them all really, Hal got Roy out of his drug problem all those years ago when Ollie kicked him out. Gave Roy a place to live and as much support he could, all while juggling the safety of the universe and giving his best friend a verbal ass-kicking. He stuck his neck out and put his position in the Justice League on the line for someone like Jason, for no other reason than its what someone had done for him when he was in a similar situation, he'd put his relations with the League in jeapardy.

And Bats hates him which is a plus, and that he the least likely to be harbouring Jason and Roy, apparently.

So Coast City for almost eight months now, is where they do domestic things like shop and where Lian goes to school. He's been living on the island with Roy and Lian and sometimes the others the whole time, hasn't been gone for more than a day.

"Wait, whos your least favourite? You better not say Uncle Hal, he's awesome!"

"Nah, I would've said Gardener, just because we haven't met,"

"Really? From what Kyle and Uncle Hal say, it seems like he's the most like you,"

_A colassal asshole?_

"Exactly."

"Right well, its late I'm getting Lian to bed then--"

"And Biz."

"---and Biz, I'll see you when you get back" Roy laughs again hanging up.

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally picture Biz as Jay's child ngl  
> And the heart surgery just gets mentioned its never brought up in detail


	2. The Second to Sleep

* * *

As he walks through the door, well past midnight, and kicking it closed, Jason heads towards the kitchen depositing more than just the milk he was sent out for. Softly humming to himself the song that was playing in the store, he sets about putting things away in their designated place before making his way to the upstairs bathroom. Jason strips himself of his armour and weapons, without looking into the mirror on his right or the hand held one Kori must have left by the bathroom sink.

Still humming when he starts his shower, Jason realizes what he was doing and stops, hoping he didn't wake anyone up. Lathering some fruity shampoo, that also probably belongs to Kori, his thoughts drift off.

Artemis thought he was being ridiculous and refused to let him rant and talk about Roy when she alraedy has to live with him. She'd been the first one Jason had finally told, asking for her opinion. The word, _coward_ , came up more times than he'd like but she was there for him whenever he sunk too far down his depressive spiral. Nowadays, she goes on solo missions more often than not, dragging Biz with her. She always was easy to talk to about his personal troubles and his hangups. Artemis doesn't encourage so much as makes sure that he knows the truth as facts and doesn't let him bring himself down with his negative thinking.

Kori they haven't heard from in weeks now, but that's not really out of norm with her, she's usually dealing with somthing on her home planet or helping with the Titans. Which she doesn't really say much about since Jason is now estranged from those who usually lead the Titans . He's grateful thats she's careful about that when she comes back home but he misses a lot of what's been happening in her life recently because of it. They don't really talk about his feelings for Roy much, since Kori has slept with Roy, though it was long before he even knew what he felt and they broke it off before he knew that too. But it made him uncomfortable that she already knew Roy in ways he could only dream of these days. So he didn't say anything about it to her even though she knows and she tries her best to encourage it whenever they catch eachother alone.

Barbara doesn't even know where he is anymore, Jason hasn't seen her since he was banished from Gotham and he wasn't sure where she stood. Even though he considers them close friends and she helped the Outlaws whenever she could back then, though not offically one of them. She was easy to be friends with and didn't hold it against him or give him some sort of silent treatment for not being with her after she confessed to loving him. She saw right through him not long after that, he hadn't even realized it before she had mentioned how he interacted with Roy. She was the first to truly know and the only one who never brought it up again afterwards. She's a Bat through and through, nothing would ever change that.

Donna is actually an ex of Roys and Jason hopes to god she doesn't know, she has a hobby of matchmaking people when she finds out someone likes another but she's not on a winning streak. And even though she dated Roy before he had Lian, and even though he knows Roy is different now than he was back then, Jason still has the same hangups that he has with Kori, although there might be a bit more jealousy since Roy actually dated Donna instead of the friends-with-benefits thing Roy had with Kori. But, theres not much he could do to change that so he leaves it be, unmentioned betweeen them and as close as Jason and Donna are he's not confident that she'd ever pick the Outlaws over the Titans, even though she has dated both Roy and Kyle and is still close friends with them. Even though Donna has known Kori and himself since they started out, she's also got that Amazonian loyalty like Artemis does and the Titans were her family first. 

And Kyle that fucker, is the only person Jason usually can just get stupid drunk with these days, who's not somehow an alien who has the highest tolerance imaginable that you'd need alien liquer- thats hard to come by for, or an amazonian who doesn't bother because its basically just water or a guy whos been trying to stay sober and not relapse. And somehow Kyle had got both of them drunk enough alone to get Jason to start whining about Roy and kept them sober enough that they'd both remember for weeks since then. The guy is the only normal one he can banter with without worrrying about his feelings or at least he's someone who he doesn't mind his feelings hurt and won't deck him. No one else could pry the words out of his mouth but Kyle's a good friend that doesn't expect emotionally draining conversations from him which he likes.

Turning off the shower that had gotten too cold for him to handle, Jason vows to embarass Kyle as much as he can when he comes back about Connor, so much that he'll be speechless and won't be able to say anything about his dumb feeling for Roy.

See how he'll like it when Roy realizes Kyle is dating his younger brother.

He steps out of the shower and avoids looking at the mirror again, wrapping a towel around himself after drying as much as he could off. Changing his clothes and exiting with all his weapons and armour in his arms, he bounds off to his small room he's claimed as his own.

Putting everything away always made him feel like his life wasn't as messy as it seemed, his clean but suprising sparse bedroom is left exactly as it always is, like no one lives in it. Like someone is just waiting to be told that they shouldn't stay and need to leave.

Residual feeling from when he was a kid on the streets.

Jason walks back out, making sure to keep his door shut and heads towards the kitchen, not surprised that he probably won't go to sleep tonight. Its one thing him and his replacement have in common.

_Probably the only thing, who is he kidding_

Jason starts his daily night ritual of making tea, how Alfred had showed him all those years ago when he was just a little boy who wanted to learn as much as he could from an old man who was his only friend in that big, old, empty house. Flashes of his memory as little Jason being with Alfred swam through, learning to cook, ranting about the classic books he read and his theories and opinions shared with the older man. Oh, how he missed the only person who ever filled the role of grandfather in his short life. Curling up with a thick blanket Kori got, on the corner of the large couch with the book he was currently reading.

Halfway through the next chapter, Jason hears footsteps coming down quietly, placing his finger between the pages to hold his place, Jason looks up to see who it might be coming down.

Lian stops just by the couch rest he's sitting next to, both hands pulling at the bottom of her pyjama shirt.

"Jayjay," The recently turned four year old whines sleepily, "Lian's tired," she mumbles while still looking down, raising one of her hands in a fist to rub at her eyes.

"Then maybe you should go to sleep, Lian" He gently teased her.

"No," She starts to climb on the couch crawling underneath the blanket Jason has spread out over himself.

Huffing a quiet laugh, he wraps an arm around her as she tries to get comfortable, in case she falls over. He lays his feet along the rest of the couch to make more room, letting her head rest on his chest, opening his book back to continue reading from a bit before he left off, to remember where the story was heading.

It didn't take long for him to follow her in slumber, Jason had always slept better when there was somebody else with him. 

* * *


	3. The Third to Panic

* * *

"Lian," Jason heard a voice coo, his body shaking. "Lian, you gotta get up and get ready for school," the cooing voice continued. Jason slowly opened his eyes and shut them quickly again to avoid the sunlight seeping through the windows. Suddenly, remembering that he and Lian fell asleep on the couch last night.

"No, daddy," He felt her little head shaking back and forth negatively, her little weight pressing down on his stomach reminding him he should go and relieve himself. "No, Lian sleep now, daddy." Leaving little room for argument, not many of the Outlaws could ever say no to her especially first thing in the morning.

Jason slowly dragged himself up, one of his arms on her little back keeping her steady and looked down at Lian, now tucking herself between his thigh and the couch. He ran his fingers through her dark hair untangling some of the knots. Roy was squating next to them between the couch and the coffee table, smiling, his amusement clear as day.

"Lian up, I need to go to the bathroom and if I get there first I'm gonna fall asleep on the toilet," Jason said faking his seriousness by acting as if he was about to start getting up off of the couch.

"Than you'll be really late to school Lian, you might really miss class," Roy added playing along, standing up and stretching his arms above his head, Roy moves towards the kitchen for breakfast. Jason searing the image of the muscled back stretching, in his mind to focus on later.

"No! Lian first, Jayjay!" She toddled as fast as she could to the bathroom upstairs with Jason on her tail, book in hand, following close behind.

He hummed, "I don't know Lian, I think I should go first," She turned around and started pushing at his legs to make him stop moving.

"No. Stay." She ran towards the bathroom shutting the door when they looked at eachother, laughing out loud Jason kept walking heading towards his room to put away his book he was with him, he grabbed his bathroom hygene travel kit he keeps for missions and headed to the other one on the first floor.

Passing by the living room, he saw Roy attempting the promised pancakes and Biz floating a bit off the ground, trying his best to help Roy by setting up the table for what looks like will only be the four of them this time. Which is the usual since Arty and Kori are the only other ones that normally live here with them day by day but are on missions with others or on their own, while Kyle spends most of his time in space than on Earth.

Entering the bathroom Jason tries to avoids the mirror again brushing his teeth, but catches a glimpse at the white stripe in his hair. It is a quick way to make him angry on the outside and feel lost and alone inside. It makes him think too much about the things he'll never get answers to, the things he has no way of knowing:

_I should be dead. Why aren't I dead?_

_There's green everywhere_

_I can't breathe_

  
_I'm drowning_

  
_Taila put me in the Lazurus Pit after I crawled out of my grave_

  
_I CRAWLED OUT OF MY GRAVE_

  
_How did I come back?_

  
_Why did I?_

  
Shutting his eyes and spitting out toothpaste Jason continues with everyones daily morning routine. The reminder of his rage in the back of his mind, lifting his head to grab his mouth wash he catches his face again in the mirror, he couldnt stop himself from looking, the 'J' standing out first near his temple all the way down his cheek, before he makes to look away.

  
_'Backhand or Forehand'_

  
_The sounds of a ticking clock_

  
_Manical laughter_

  
_The smacking of a crowbar meeting hit after hit after hit_

  
_stop Stop STOP_

  
_So much pain_

  
Jason hears Roys melodious laughter outside the door, he grips the sides of the sink and takes a deep breath. _In, one-two-three-four, out. Repeat._  
 _Now is not the time, I'm going to have breakfast with my makeshift family I found all on my own, just this once don't breakdown here, now isn't the time_

He lifts his head, his eyes focus on the scars he got from his supposed father, he couldn't help himself at this point, the sharp long cut on his neck pale in comparison to the rest of his skin. The ones he got recently from his back than broken helmet, when he was being dragged across the rooftop bloodly and near death.

Again.

Jasons hand comes up to his chest, underneath his longsleeve would be his massive autopsy scar and the surgical scar he now has from the heart surgury he got from that night. The arm itself has scars too, not from fighting other people or monsters but from when Dickface locked him in Arkham right next to his murderer, the Joker, he tried to cut himself over and over, if only to faint for a long enough time to not hear him laugh in his anymore.

  
_'I was a fool for ever believing in you'_

  
_A good soldier_

  
_He picked the Joker_

  
_He picked the Joker_

  
_JOKER over him_

  
_He can't speak_

  
_Why can't he speak?_

  
_The taste of blood in his mouth_

  
_The laughter_

  
_Oh god, the laughter_

  
Jason sinks to the ground, his knees up and his arms wrapped around them, his head down. Water was still running in the background and from the rushed steps he hears, Roy is taking Lian to school already, breakfast is over. He doesn't know how long he sits for his eyes shut, jaw clenched, thoughts screaming at him, others whispering truths he's tried to avoid.

  
_He replaced you_

  
_Not even a year later, not even half of one_

  
_Pretender was better in every way_

  
_He's the son he wants_

  
_The partner he relies on, counts on_

  
_The one who he trusts_

  
_The one he doesn't hit and yell at and blame_

  
_A rich and sophisticated replacement who can fit in with the high society crap thats always looking at them_

  
_One who they love and won't throw in Arkham_

  
_One he'd probably avenge_

  
_Like the demon brat, he'd probably drag him back there all over again if it was for them_

  
_Or for any of the new kids he adopted_

  
_I couldn't make you love me._

  
Jason stares at his hands, his knuckles still have the scars from that fight, his nails aren't better scarred from when he dug through his wooden coffin and six feet of wet earth. 

  
_He was ugly._

  
Maybe he always was, even though the Pit got rid of his older scars from his days on the street, the broken bottles his dad hit him with and even his old injuries from his days as Robin. Not many of his scars nowadays stay because of his Lazurus advanced healing but he still has some bullet wounds here and there. Which doesn't help him in the looks department, some stab wounds he hadn't bothered to stitch, deep scars he got from his trainers with the League of Assassins were left as hideous patterns along his skin.

A knock on the door helps him focus out of the trance he put himself, "Red-him am okay? Biz am worried." Jason slowly got up, his hand on the wall to help himself and clears his throat.

"I'm fine Biz, just flossing, " Jason goes to gather some of the things he dropped, tossing his toothbrush into the trash can and heading to open the door, not wanting to keep the giant blue Kryptonian waiting in case he gets some ideas about about the door himself.

''Morning Biz," Jason says looking up at him, a small tired smile flashes on his face as quick as he can before he drops it and moves around him to head back up to his room, Biz follows him but stops outside his door.

  
"Red-him," Biz twists his hand together in nervous habit, "Am okay?" Somehow making himself look small even though he takes up the entire door way, "Want Pup-pup?'' 

Jason keeps his heartbeat as steady as he can and makes sure to keep his face away from the doorway to avoid looking at his lovable big guy. 

"I'm fine Biz, why do you keep asking?" He pretends to move things around, just to have to place them back into their original designated spots, wasting as much time as he could in order to avoid whatever it is Biz is trying to do.

"Red-him am ... sad," he says hesitantly, a statement he is sure of, it seemed.

Jason stops moving he opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to come up with an answer that he can give to his favourite Kryptonian.

"Biz I --"

"Honey! I'm home," Roy calls out, back from dropping Lian off at a local elementary school. "And guess who called," He hears Roy walk up the steps towards them. Jason turns around and pushes Biz to get them both out of his room. He only allows Biz since he could probably see into his room whenever he wanted, otherwise he lets no one else in there. "You'll never guess," Roy continues meeting them in the hallway on the second floor. 

"Alright, I believe you, Harper," 

"You didn't even try, c'mon guess,"

"Does it matter?"

"Guess."

"Ollie?"

"Nope."

"Kori?"

"Noooo, she hasn't called in a while has she?''

''Nah guess not, was it your brother?''

"Nope, try again,"

"I don't know, I think I just said everyone on your contacts list, honestly,"

"Just one more try, Im sure you've got it, I'll even give you a hint, they know Ollie really well,''

"Oh Hal,"

"Nooooo, its Dinah.''

Chuckling, Jason steers Biz and himself back down the stairs and past Roy, then letting go to have some of the leftover pancakes Roy left for him on a plate wrapped in plastic wrap. Eating the now cold pancakes by hand, if Alfred ever saw him he'd get something worse than any Bat-Glare, the disappointed-Alfred-stare.

"She invited us to stay over this weekend, since she hadn't been able to see Lian last time we went over," Roy was leaning his back against the wall next to the stairs, muscular tattooed arm and prosthetic arm crossed over his chest in his tank top, with his cute crooked grin on his face and stupid hat on his head with his hair suprisingly looking better than most days. 

Trying not get caught staring Jason replies, "Have fun than, Lians reading Alice in Wonderland before she sleeps you should take it with you,''

''Nuh-uh, you're coming too Jaybird, she invited anyone whos here tomorrow morning to come along, the more the merrier she said, can't say no to her,'' He lifted his arms so his hands were resting behind his head. 

Jason almost choked on the next bite of his pancake.

"But I mean, if you wanna say no you're on your own with telling her," Roy shrugged or he at least did the equivalent of one with his arms stretched the way the were.

Jason rolls his eyes, when they make eye contact, "Fine asshole, who's here tomorrow?'' 

"Red-him? Biz am gone tomorrow, Red-her am take Biz out,'' They were going to raid a warehouse that potentially had kidnapped children, that some gang was trying to sell. Artemis had been tracking them down for awhile now and had finally found a meet-up the gang was using to show off to potential buyers.

Jason was inwardly sighing, knowing two of his best shields to hide from Dinah are gone, especially if she manages to figure things out since the last time she was here, Kyle made one of his dumb jokes about them in front of her. 

Who was he kidding she definietly already knows.

"Is Connor gonna be there?'' he asks, for the sake of his sanity, someone who won't confront him or at least has the decency not to make fun of his pining.

''Yeah of course, said he wanted to see Lian," Roy huffed, '' They only wanna see me for my adorable daughter,'' 

Relieved he had at least Connor and Lian to sheild him or cause distractions if needed. And he knows Ollie is pretty oblivious to everything around him when he sees his grand-daughter, so as long as Lian is in the same room he could potentially have three different options to choose from, if he needed to run from Dinah.

He definitely needs to run from being alone with her.

''Yeah, it's a good thing she barely looks like you, huh."

''Small-bow am cute," Biz nodded vigourously.

"Guys, you're suppose to say, 'No Roy, we love you just as much! Or you're adorable too Roy! Or even its a two for one deal don't worry Roy!''' Roy exaggerates in a high pitch voice, imitating what seems to be a banshee from hell.

Jason only lifts an eyebrow in his direction as Bizarro attempts to apologize to Roy, "Am sorry not pretty like Small-bow, Small-bow cute, Bow old not cute sorry."

Roy and Jason laugh, "Fine, I see how it is, me and my cute ass are out of here," No argument there. Roy stomps to the basement where he works on his inventions and where most of the weapons and training equipment are kept.

Finishing his breakfast, Jason cleans the dish and starts putting his shoes on, " Biz, I'm going for a run I'll be back later."

* * *


	4. The Fourth for Love

* * *

Dreading going to the Queens this weekend, Jason wastes his time stress baking. Having already made batches cinnamon rolls, pies and several different cookies. He just started making homemade dinner rolls, making them as healthy as possible, without the others knowing. Kneading the dough always calmed him down even though he could afford and already has a stand mixer with a dough hook attachment.

Lian already went to school and Biz set off to meet up with Artemis, leaving Jason alone with Roy. Roy who was in his makeshift work shop since the crack of dawn. But Jason knew sooner or later Roy would realize he's hungry and come up to the kitchen. The kitchen where Jason is currently trying to fill with homemade goodness.

Alfred taught him most of what he knows, _If you can make it from scratch, do it_ , and he's kept by those words whenever he could. Its definitely a plus that he can make things in advance for later though, when he isn't in the mood to make anything.

He missed the old man at times like this, unsure if he'll ever see him again. He knows where he stands with most of them, his so-called 'older brother' had never wanted him and often had agrued about sending him back _'from where ever the hell he came from',_ during his younger days when he first arrived at the manor and years after. Still, for some reason he goes on pretending they were the best of brothers or something instead, when they'd probably only spoke civilly maybe four times. And the two 'younger brothers' he apparently had didn't have any better a relationship with him, both eagerly agreeing with whatever the big Bats had to say. He knows he's the cautionary tale on what not to be for them, both times. His death a reminder to always fall in lie or die, 'never get in over your head' would have been them appropriate lesson he supposes but was probably more accurately close to 'the Joker belongs to Bats, no one else can have him'. And now the way he lives his life was probably how the younger bat kids know not to turn away from the old bastard. He hadn't even met the girls before he left.

Jason rolls his shoulders, _don't think about them, they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves._

Roy came up the steps, just like he eventually thought he would. "Hey, Jaybird! Whatcha making? Smells amazing!" Roy walked in sitting down by the table filled with treats Jason planned on storing away only leaving one of them to share with the others for dinner today. "Don't mind if I do," Roys greasy fingers grabbing at a cookie that was originally Alfred's recipe, barely managing to dodge the towel Jason whipped at him.

"Harper, get your disgusting fingers away from that!"

"But Jaybird!" Roy whined, "It all looks so delicious, I just want to try some!" Holding the stolen cookie to his full and plump lips, Jason had to busy himself with taking away the other dishes he made to avoid being obvious.

"Well, since you don't feel like listening, that's all you're getting," Jason spins around, so as not to see the puppy-eyed expression he knows Roy will have. Where else would Lian have learnt it from. 

"Nooo, Jaybird I'm sorry! Forgive me, please I beg you!" Roy wails dramatically, sliding on the floor grabbing at one of Jasons arms. Blushing Jason pulls away intent on ignoring Roy and continuing where he had left off. Looking down at his arms though, he noticed the place where Roy grabbed him was now covered black with grease.

"Harper! What the fuck? Go wash your hands, man. And your face and you know what, maybe just go shower." Jason moved to wash away the marks with Roy cackling in the background running back down to his workshop, a handful of cookies in his arms.

_At least he didn't see the cinnamon rolls, those are his favourites_

Hoping Roy at least likes his cookies, he daydreams of Roy turning around and dipping him just to place a peck on his lips and thank him for the desserts. He pulls him out of his thoughts stopping anything from getting too steamy. Looking at his communicator Roy created for members of the Outlaws to speak to one another if they were too far from cell reception, like anywhere in space (Kyle and sometimes Kori) or in the middle of battle. Its convienient and hard for anyone else to track.

He looks down at his, remembering the call he got from Kori during his run:

He had accepted the call, they hadn't really heard from her in a while and he's missed her fiercely.

Her flowing fiery hair was the first thing he saw, her green eyes and orange tinted skin too close to the screen. No matter how many times they tell her not to she does it everytime, before backing a bit away. "Hello friend, greetings," She waves, smiling brightly. From what Jason could see in the background she was off world back at her home planet it seemed. 

"Hey Kor, been waiting for a call,"

"Apologies, dear friend. I have been having much talks with Ryand'r and Komand'r about relations. Ryand'r has met a most exquisite companion to which he wishes to be betrothed to,"

"That's good to hear I guess, I'm glad you're having a good time than,"

"Of course, may I inquire about your time these past weeks?"

"Nothing really interesting I think, Dinah invited us over this whole weekend if you could make it," 

"I'm afraid I must decline, give her my best wishes and gratitude. Who might be joining you?"

_Damn_

"Yeah sure, and it's just Lian, Harper and me it seems,"

She clapped her hands excitedly, "Splendid! Have the others spend time with our lovely dear Lian and take Roy around the city, Jason!" She eagerly suggested, she'd been doing that for as long as she'd known how he felt, he wasn't she if this was some misplaced sense of guilt or just the way Kori expressed her love for others. ''You could take him to the candy of cotton, he shall be yours yet,'' But her advice was pretty out there even for someone like him, who goes out at night with a bright fire-engine red helmet.

"Thanks Kori, I'll think about it," His reply to each one of her ideas, not that he doesn't think about them. Last time he couldn't stop laughing from her idea of gifting Roy a squirrel, he's not even sure how that came to be.

"Very well, how do the others fare?" 

"Arty and Biz are dealing with some child traffickers, and Rayner said he'd been dropping by soon,"

"Unforutnately, I will not be there, I shall stay here for a while longer, send him my love, and best wishes to his lover," Another not quite hidden secret most of them knew. "Do not fret, Oliver and Dinah both cherish your relations, no harm shall befall you. Do enjoy yourself, I fear you always were one to overthink," 

''Will do,"

"And how fares Roy and Lian?"

"Both are doing well, Lian's happy to see her grandparents and I think Roy's grateful for a break to be a twenty-something year old again,"

"That is great news, and what of Donna? Has she been around often?"

"Just the same as before, I guess,"

"I must be off soon Jason, do take care of yourself and see to it that you and Roy, how do you say, 'get your heads out of your asses' I shall contact one of you again later this evening,''

Laughing Jason wishes her well before she hangs up. She was always one of those people that put the happiness of others first, it's what made her such a good hero, she was one of this best in his opinion.

* * *


	5. The Fifth to Manage

* * *

Having panics is really hard when you live in a decently small place with about six others around coming and going within hearing distance. So Jason thought it was a good thing he figured out a way to keep himself quiet back in his days with the League of Assassins, weakness got you killed back then and he hadn't planned to drop dead right after crawlng out of his grave, unsure if he was willing to bet if this ressurection was a one time thing.

So panicing on his way over to the Queen household was easy enough to hide but hard to get through. Because out of everyone who knows about his pining none of them have ever told him to quit it or come at him for trying to break the already damaged but obviously great Roy Harper and no one has made him feel ashamed or unworthy of these feelings he has for him.

But she can and she will.

And Jason doesn't know where he's gonna stand after this or even if he'll be able to. It was stupid of him to come here, he knows he should have kept his feelings in a tight lock but he just couldn't do that like the other bats. He didn't want to have to constantly be on the look out from the people he trusted most. Who proved time and time again that they were his family no matter what happens to him, they deserved him as open as he could get without vomiting.

So he doesn't regret that at least.

Standing in front of the door of the Queen's mansion makes Jason remember Wayne Manor and Alfred and cookies and somehow its a warm and an absolutely dreadful feeling.

Dinah opens the door before Roy and Lian even knock, "Welcome back, I'm glad you're here,'' 

"Granny! Hi-Hi!'' Lian waves excitedly.

She smiles softly, picking Lian up from the ground turning away to head inside, "Lets get the three of you settled, huh,'' She turns to start chatting to Lian about what she had been up to recently.

"--and then Lian--"

Roy followed behind the chatter after shutting and locking the door behind himself, Jason stood still, not knowing what to do, he's been here enough times to know the routine. 

Dinah or Ollie would put Roy and Lians things in a room first and one by one the rest go in different guest rooms but because the others aren't here, the second Roy and Lian go to put their things away Jason is screwed.

''Hey Jason, glad you could make it,'' Jason turns his head quickly in the direcction of the voice, it's Ollie, which depending on how oblivious he is, could be either a good or bad thing for him.

''Yeah, thanks again for the invite,'' Jason manages an awkward smile on his face, good parental figures was always a sore spot with him. And Ollie is now way better than any he's ever had. He doubts Ollie would ever do anything the Bats did or his parents or Talia or especially Shelia Haywood. Which makes him one of the best parents he knows, excluding Roy.

'' You're always welcome, lets get you settle, alright,'' Ollie grabs at the gym bag Jason has slung around his shoulder and leads the way to the guest room he usually uses whenever he stays over.

''Connor's in his room, let me just go get him,'' Ollie drops his bag on the ground next to the now opened guest room door, 'LIANNN GRANPA'S HERE'' Jason hears him bellow down the stairs to Roys room.

Walking in the room always reminds him of the guest rooms at the manor, large and elegantly decorated but lifeless. Which makes sense, guests don't usually stay long, Jason wonders who else might have used this room. He knows Hal has a room here and that Kyle has always just bunked in Connors room when he stays over, Roy and Lian always just stay in Roy's old room together, but maybe back then other Titans stayed here maybe even D--

He doesn't want to think about them, Jason shakes his head physically to make the thoughts disappear, _they dont think about him_ , a traitorous thought lingers through.

Sighing, he drags his bag next to the bed he'll be sleeping in for the weekend, when he hears the knocking he's dreading it, hoping Dinah is still cuddling with her granddaughter instead. Jason turns and faces the door only to see it's Connor with a small smile on his face, hand hovering over the place on the door where he knocked.

''Hey, everyone's downstairs for lunch. Coming?'' 

''I- yeah sure,'' he stumbles, following Connors footsteps, hesitant and quiet in case he needs to duck away. Jasons palms are clammy, wiping them on his jeans didn't help much.

"You know, Kyle's mentioned a time or two about your feelings."

Jason would've said he'd kill Kyle if his boyfriend wasn't the one next to him. Who was he kidding, "I'll kill him,".

Connor smiled, "It's nothing to worry about, I just wanted to let you know when the time comes we'll welcome you like always,"

When what? When Roy rejects him? Jason has a plan, when that happens he's moving to Atlantis, where no one would think to find him, and change to Reje C. Ted.

"I just wanted to know if you'll take care of Lian, she's very important to us as I'm sure she is to you. However, she'd become yours if you do, won't she?"

Jason moved his head so fast his vision blurred for a second. _God, don't give me ideas._ Out loud he said, "I'll always love her, that's one thing I'm sure of,"

Connor nodded leading them to the kitchen, "I'm glad."

He wished he had a brother half as amazing as Connor, but he got stuck with the carbon copies of the old bastard.

In the kitchen, he sees everyone already there surrounding the containers of take out, which isn't realy surprising since the Queens are notorious for being unable to last a month without completely destroying a kitchen just by cooking, usually they have it because none of them actually like having someone else live there and cook for them. Jason personally thinks it's just to hide from strangers how embarassing they all are with seemingly normal adult tasks.

''Jayjay,'' Lian shouts. ''Look-look Lian using chopstickies, see Jayjay,'' She rushes toward him showing her 'chopstickies' with the ends tied together by an elasticband, ''See, Uncle Connor, see,'' moving quickly to whoever gives her the reaction she must be want shoving the tiny fist in Connors face.

Connor takes her little hand in his to steer the sticks away and chuckles a small laugh, ''You're doing great Lian.''

Yeah, he might be able to get through this.

* * *


	6. The Sixth for Help

* * *

  
It was Sunday, he thought he had managed to avoid Dinah and nailed it, he thought he was home-free but...

  
Lian and Ollie go out, so Ollie could spoil his grandaughter without the scolding looks he gets from Dinah and Roy by themselves to an amusement park,

  
Connor and Roy claimed a 'brothers day,' which he did get invited to join but Dinah had already answered for him and they went to enjoy the day, 

  
He was here helping her move her files to her new office, apparently.

  
''Come in Jason, there's a stack of boxes here I need to bring to the office upstairs,'' She points at them in her nice well lit office, ''I think keeping a room for League work and others seperate is a good idea, don't you?'' 

  
Nodding his head, Jason really doesn't want to talk to her so he grabs all three boxes at a time and goes up a diferent set of stairs than the ones that lead to the guest rooms, moving to the second door on the left. _Rich people, I swear_. He rolls his eyes.

  
The other office is homeier than the first one at least, with a couch instead of two chairs and a shelf with books instead of files and binders with peoples names on the spine.

  
Taking a subtle but deep breath, Jason decides if he can fight monsters and aliens and the fucking Joker, if he can deal with coming back to life and the Lazurus Pit and his supposed family hating him, he could definitely deal with talking about his feelings he has for Roy to Roy's adoptive mother.

  
''Dinah, what is it?'' Jason asks looking at her from the corner of his eye, shes standing at her desk moving things around needlessly.

  
_Good_ , he thinks, start small maybe this will end faster if he controls the conversation.

  
She stares at Jason who was looking at her shelf filled with textbooks, ''You're hurting yourself,'' She finally answers.

  
''What?''

  
Jason's confused, that was not anywhere close to how he thought she'd start this.

  
''Its unhealthy to keep this all bottled in, what you've been through is tramatic of course but there are people who care about you and want to see you get better.''

  
''What are you on about?'' He spins in shock looking at her.

  
'' Jason, you've been abused again and again by the people you trusted, I just want to help.''

  
''I - are you - what?''

  
''We care about you, the Outlaws, Connor, Hal, Ollie, Roy and Lian. We care and we know you've been having a difficult time.'' She moves slowly closer to him from around his desk reaching and grabbing one of his hands in hers.

  
''Who- was it Roy who told you to do this?'' He almost wants to explode but somehow just feels competely drained having this come at him out of no where.

  
''No, I want to but wasn't sure how to reach out, your mother said it was best to be blunt, throw that right back at you.''

  
''My moth--Talia did?''

  
Dinah pulls him along to a couch and sits next to him.

  
''You're not here about--'' He was blindsided, he hadn't thought about Talia in months, if he was hesitant with which side Barbara chose, he was sure Talia must have chosen her Beloved. He wasn't suprised, he never heard from her and she had a child with that man, of course she would choose him over the teenager she helped raise into an adult, but now Dinah says that she wants him to what? Go to therapy? 

  
He feels pretty happy, not that he'll ever say but the possibility that she hadn't thrown him away too, that she's still a parent he could count on someday, maybe not anytime soon but someday, reminds him of the years she took care of him. _Maybe I should call her soon._

  
''No, not yet at least, don't worry.''

  
Jason looks at her and he really starts to think about it, he's never been to therapy. Was too poor growing up and when he started living at the manor it was never an option given to him. Even if it was, he's not sure he would have gone. Not because of the disappointment he would of been faced with for needing help with any issues he had, but because the manor lacked one thing to this day and it was privacy, any of them would have hacked into his file and nosy their way into his deepest thoughts and darkest nightmares, as if they had any right to.

  
But here with Dinah it might be different, it might work and maybe actually help. But he doesn't want her to tell him he's too far gone, that he might be unfixable.

  
''Okay, okay, but no paper or digital trail and no one else ever hears about anything I say to you. And don't just prescribe me a million pills, I don't want any and none of this by phone, I don't want anyone to trace the calls and maybe when no one else is around. Wouldn't want any eavesdropping, I think actually it'd be best if you could come to the island, that'd be comfortable but then Biz needs to go out. Maybe we could make a lead room or something so he doesn't have to or even...''

  
Dinah places her hand on his shoulder, ''Alright, calm down you're rambling, well take it one day at a time, okay?'' Her words are soft and soothing, her hand rubbing in small circles on his shoulder. ''But, thank you for agreeing to give it a shot.''

  
Jason ducks his head down looking at his knees ''I've never done this before,'' He confesses and if Dinah is surprised about that, he doesn't lift his head to find out, He just tightens his fists and loosens it repeatedly, a little anxiously.

  
''Well, how about we start off with what you think we should work on together,'' She pulls her hand away.

  
''I get panics,'' He stops himself from continuing.

  
''Panic attacks about...''

  
''My scars,'' Jason mumbles out.

  
''Your ....scars, what about them?''

  
Jason squeezes his eyes shut, ''They're ugly.'' He spits out. 

  
''Maybe, try not associating them with what you hate about them, for now.''

  
Jason tilts his head in her direction, silently questioning what she means.

  
''Try to focus on another meaning they represent to you when you have a panic about them, try now to give an example like instead of focusing on a scar that reminds you of dying think of it as a proof you're now alive, alright?''

  
Jason slowly nods, thinking it over, his autopsy scar was proof he died but no one else in the entire world has one, proof that hes at least still alive.

  
''I get anxiety attacks, too.''

  
''From?'' She gently nugdes him to continue.

  
''Any of the bats coming to get me, talking to people I dont know, thinking about the future stuff like that.''

  
Dinah hummed, ''Do you also get nightmares?'' She asks, even though she expects a positive answer.

  
''Whenever I manage to sleep,''

  
''What do you mean?''

  
Jason looks at the ground in the opposite direction of her feet, shrugging as best he could, ''Lazurus Pit makes it so I can go days without it until I get exhausted.''

  
''What are you doing instead then?''

  
''Reading whichever book I have,''

  
''Are you eating enough?''

  
Jason finally straightens up looking in her direction but still avoiding eye contact, ''Of course! Do you know how hard I worked to pull this off?'' Jason gestures at his body.

  
Dinah smiles, amused at his antics. ''I'm glad, anything else do you think we should cover?''

  
Jason grins ''Got a load of daddy issues, let me tell you. ''

  
''And lets not forget your taste in potential partners.''

* * *


	7. The Seventh to Accept

* * *

It was after his first week with Dinah when she came, Jason was in the middle of his partol routine while on a rooftop scanning the area for anything suspicious happening. Having essentially nothing to do on his down time he helps around in Coast City whenever it's beloved protector Green Lantern, isn't around. Him and Roy have an ongoing tally of who's kicking the most ass.

It's him by a long shot. 

Which is two, but two is a lot.

When Jason jumps onto the next roof he's quickly surrounded by several people dressed in black.

_No. No please._

It took him a moment to realize these were not Bats they were ninjas. And ninjas mean...

_Talia_

Jason wasn't sure if he was ready to face her but she stepped out from behind her assassins anyway, right infront of him.

"Jason, how are you doing, _Habibi?"_ She spoke quietly compared to others, almost emotionless just like he remembered from all those years ago, and he always knew better than others that as long as you looked closely you'll see the truth.

She was pushing strands of her hair behind her ear.

_She was worried_. Of what, he didn't know.

"Hey T," He finally replied, taking his helmet off his head. She was never a fan of it, thought it was tacky, but she thought all the dumb furry costumes were more, so it was a win for him.

Her lips curved upwards minisculey. A sign she was happy to see him at least. A positive sign, better than what he was expecting.

"How have you been doing, has the time spent with Canary helped?" 

"Yeah, she's been good to me, thanks for telling her,"

"Of course, anything for my child," Her hand caressed his cheek. Jason's own eyes wide, tears pooling quickly.

"You mean that? Even after everything?"

Her face somehow conveyed an air of sadness, "Yes, always. I'm sorry I hadn't come sooner, I was against your father in a custody battle,"

His thoughts jumped around at what he should address first. "T, he's not my father." He stated firmly backing away from her hand, before saying "and custody what are you talking about? Did you take Damian back?"

She put he hand down "No, nothing of the sort, Richard is Damian's primary guardian now, I made sure of it,"

"Not that he's much better, but why?"

"Oh child, after what he did to you? I made sure he wouldn't pull the same thing with your younger brother, I made sure he knew you were mine too,"

"But...'' Everything he knew about Talia made him confidently believe that her Beloved would always be more important to her but now shes saying she made sure that the bats _what? stayed away?_ She'd always been headstrong but looking at her now she did't seem like the person all the rumours were about. He's not gonna lie and not say that she isn't deadly, of course she is, she taught him everything she knew. He knew just how deadly she could be, but her hands were tightly clenched in fists and she was rigid, forcing herself to move any closer to him. She wanted to move closer. "He's-you love him...I don't understand?"

"You are my child, I will let no mere man harm you and get away with it, even my Beloved, if I did there would be no point in calling myself a mother. Understand now?"

Jason moved to duck his head, "Yeah, Ma." It wasn't everyday someone chose him over better options, he knows he's the easy one to leave and never look back. But Talia made it seem like she never saw any other way, her kids were the only option she cared about these days.

She came closer patting him on the chest, "Now, why don't you tell me about what you've been up to these days," She gave her undivided attention. "Have you been keeping up with your training, wouldn't want you to fall behind, _Habibi,"_

"I'm fine T, rested for a bit but I've been back in the game for awhile," He rolled his eyes under the domino mask he was wearing, she couldn't see but Jason was sure she knew anyway. "The Outlaws are doing fine too, in case you were wondering."

"I see... is there anyting you'd like to tell me before I take my leave?"

_Not her too_

"Nope, just maybe, if I wanna talk can I still reach you on that old number?" Jason diverted the conversation, her eyes softened just a bit as she moved closer to place a kiss on his cheek.

"Of course, _Habibi."_

Soon, faster than he could blink he was alone on the roof, Jason held a hand to his cheek. It had been awhile since he'd have one of those from her, and as awkward as it had been Jason hadn't felt that happy in a long time.

_One more sweep around and than I'm heading to bed, this has been exhausting_

* * *


	8. The Eighth for Fun

Kyle finally came back days later and Jason was ready to have his revenge.

Dinah made sure to stop by every other day for their therapy chats, starting the day after they first talked about it and for two weeks since. They'll come up with a better schedule when he's more comfortable with their chats. He feels guilty for monopolizing her time but she's been dragging Connor and Ollie to hang around the others, who were around.

Artemis and Roy were the only ones who knew for now, both reactions positive, with Artemis left wondering why he hadn't done it before now since it was a more common practice where she's from.

Dinah and Jason mostly spent the first night discussing the things he could do if he ever felt anxious or panicky again, but since today she isn't coming over neither are Ollie and Connor, which spoils half his fun.

Outlaw island was almost packed with its members all there, excluding Kori and Donna. Jason wasn't counting others that might have helped but weren't actually members.

Jason was cooking the dinner since the others just cause massive messes in the kitchen and he's banned most of them from it. They did get the heads up that a few other Green Lanterns were coming too, so Jason and his very special kitchen helper Lian, made enough food for a few people who haven't eaten human food in weeks and could stuff themselves full.

''Jayjay! Lian can do it!'' She moved away from Jason in her little apron, holding a potato close to her chest. ''Don't touch, potatoey.''

''I know, I know Lian, its just the water's gonna be hot, I just want you to be careful,'' He bluffed, unsure if she'd even believe him.

They were attempting some last minute potato dishes before anyone came down to the kitchen, the smell alone had Biz coming in to help set up the table. It was full as if it was some sort of holiday but was actually just the normal amount of food they'd have whenever they're all together. Though, Kyle and Donna do lend a hand whenever that was the case.

Lian pouting was the cutest thing Jason had ever seen, not that that was her intention, he's sure. ''Okay, Lian will help with dessert now.'' It was some apple pie already mostly made and cheese cake that Lian set about to crush the graham crackers, like she'd done times before.

''Thank you, Lian.'' Jason set about finishing everything for the next fifty minutes.

''Hey, guys! I'm back!'' They both heard the call from the entrance, Kyle and the others came through in their everyday attire. Jason sighed quietly, putting some dark chocolate back unable to use it to bake anything else. While Lian rushed to Kyles knees screaming "Uncle Kyle! Uncle Hal! Lian helped cook! Wanna see?"  
Jason went to greet them as well, noticing Hal and the two other Lanterns behind him .

Gardener and Stewart.

He really hoped that Kyle or Hal told them to be discreet about Jason being mentioned outside of the island. He really didn't want to have to go to Arkham because of two glorified glowsticks.

Hal noticing him first, smiles and nods at his apron and Jason despite steathily trying to take it off was noticed by Kyle, who shifted a grinning Lian from his arms to Hals. Stepping forward he had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

''Nice apron, where'd you get it?''

''From 'if-you-mention-it-again-you-can-sit-in-the-corner-and-watch-us-eat-instead' Rayner,''

Arms up in a 'I-come-in-peace' gesture, Kyle backed away laughing, ''Okay, okay I promise no making fun of the frill--''

''Okay, '' Hal cut off. ''Why don't we head to the dining room to eat huh, guys'' 

Jason made the universal throat-slicing gesture at Kyle mothing 'you're dead', leading the way where they all spotted Roy getting his hand squeezed to death by Artemis, screeching from where it looked like he had tried picking up a meatball. Artemis glaring at him telling him to wait, Bizzaro nervously kept repeating, ''Must wait for Red-him, no hurt Red-her, please.''

''Guys, go sit down already'' Jason ordered moving to stuff his apron away and sit at his own seat.

Kyle, already started stuffing his face was elbowed by Hal, who tilted his head at Gardener and Stewart pulling in their chairs to sit comfortable, sitting across from them.

''Oh, '' Kyle tried to swallow down some of the food in his mouth, ''Right thats Guy and John.'' He pointed at them each with his spoon before continuing to eat.

Hal rolled his eyes ''Why'd I bother?''

* * *


	9. The Ninth to Embarass

* * *

It didn't take long for them to be comfortable around eachother, Stewart and Artemis can talk each other in circles about whatever topic interests them at the time and Gardener is somehow the combination of all their worst or at least chaotic personality traits.

Jason hadn't tried to talk since dinner, even with Dinah helping he wasn't completely ready to take this step, he was just happy that he could still be in the same room as two basically complete strangers entered his home.

''Soo, Jay you seeing someone yet?'' Kyle wiggles his eyebrows suggestively changing the conversations direction so they all looked at him expectantly to answer from where he had been quietly ignoring everyone.

''Yeah, how'd you know?'' Roy happily answered for him coming back from setting Lian to bed.

_Oh no_

''Really? Finally! Thought it'd never happen at the rate he was going!'' Kyle addressed Roy, about to start some third-degree interrogation by the looks of it.

''Yeah, apparently it wasn't that hard for Dinah to get him to agree to see her,'' 

And like that they all erupted.

''Dinah?''

''You dog!''

''Isn't she with Ollie, didn't think he was interested in being a sugar daddy?''

''He could just be a side piece,''

''Red-him am happy?''

At the last one, Jason turned next to him to look at Bizarro, ''I'm okay, Biz.'' He whispered, standing up ready to call it a night and get away from the awkward conversation they were about to have.

''He's not sleeping with Dinah guys,'' Roy laughed out, rolling his eyes. "That's insane!" Roy turned to look at Jason, "You're not, right?" Who confirmed his guess.

''Then why bring her up?''

''You asked if he was seeing a therapist right? Dinah.'' Roy shrugged at the incredulous looks the Lanterns were giving him.

''How does that even make any sense? Why would I ask that, Roy?'' Kyle exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exastperation. Jason slowly creeping towards the staircase ready to run and get back to his room with his books that were safely stowed away there.

''Didn't you tell him to?'' 

''No, I havent spoken to Jason in weeks --- Jason! Tell him I didn't make you do anything.'' Kyle called out noticing Jasons quiet departure, intent on bringing him back into the conversation.

Jason stops at the end of the stairs, head leaning in Roys direction. ''Kyle didn't say anything, he didn't know, my mom asked me to.'' And made his way up aware that they were all able to tell if they hit a nerve so he deliberately paced himself even though everything in him told him to start running.

Artemis stood up, ''Cease this conversation at once,'' Heading to follow Jason to the hallway where he stood waiting for her, knowing she would come after him and not comfortable enough to invite her into his safe space ''Your mother? '' She questioned softly. 

With his back towards her she could see him rub at the back of his head ''Yeah, she spoke with Dinah about it some time ago,'' He hestiantly opened his door a sliver to step inside.

''There is no shame in a warrior making sure they are prepared for their next battle, '' she leaves him with before strutting away heading somewhere else.

His door clicks shut.

* * *


	10. The Tenth is Done

* * *

Hal knocked on Jasons door not too long after, Jason was on his bed starting a new book when he did, '' Hey kid, can I come in?'' And if it was anyone other than the guy who let him roam around his city without threatening to ship him to Bats to send to Arkham, he might have said no. But this is Hal Jordan, the guy who helped them not only do that but helped him with his open heart surgery he also needed all those months ago, when pieces off his helmet got stuck to his chest. The pilot who seemed to have a heart of gold when it came to the black sheeps of families and other rejects peole usually cast aside.

''Come in, Hal.'' He said resigned to having another heart to heart, shutting his book. It seems he can't avoid any of them these days, he's losing his touch.

Opening the door, Hal walked in a bit, just enough to shut the door behind him, leaving the two of them stuck in the room together for however long Hal wanted.

''You're looking better than I last saw you,'' It wasn't a new statment from him, since eight months ago whenever he's on earth Hal comes to visit Outlaw Island and always drags a similar conversation out of Jason. 

Jason sits up, legs crossed on his bed, ''You think its a good idea?'' Not bothering to explain what he's referring to, they both know it's about talking with Dinah, they're similar in the sense that they've always been on their own and never really had the time before to do anything about the things in their head.

Hal nods ''Yeah, it's good to get it off your chest, I think.''

''..right..''

''You don't think so?''

''No, it's not that it just feels like a cop out sometimes is all, ''

''A cop out how d'you figure?''

''Just like I should be able to deal with my own problems, shouldn't I?''

''Kid.'' Hal comes to crouch infront of Jason, it makes him feel small, like a kid again, ''That's not a cop out, no one wants you hurting but no ones gonna know if you don't tell them, the universe threw a lot of shit at you, you can ask someone to lend you a hand or two.''

''But last time-'' Last time he tried to ask for help all that happened was that everything got worse.

''Asking human trash doesn't count, kid,''

Jason smiled at that, it was small and barely there but Hal counted it as a win for him.

''So whats this Kyles rambling about, anything I should know?'' Hal smirks pushing himself to his feet, "He's not even trying to be discreet at this point."

Jason groans hiding his face behind his hands, ''I'm gonna kill him, see who's laughing when everyone knows he's with Connor.''

''Connor? As in Connor Hawke, my nephew Connor?''

''The one and only.''

Hal rushes out of Jasons room leaving the door wide open yelling out ''Kyle! What are you doing to Connor! '' So Jason can clearly hear him.

''What are you talking about Uncle Hal? Quiet down Lian's asleep.'' Roys gravelly voice echoes around, as if Jason needed more things to stupidly find atrractive about him.

''Kyle's defiling Connor!'' Kyle sputters about trying to come up with something to say. Jason can imagine Hal pointing accusingly at Kyle defending himself from Roys parental glare.

''What?''

''I'M GONNA KILL YOU, JASON!'' Kyle screeches.

''Shush, Lian is sleeping!''

Jason rolls around his bed laughing tucking his face into his pillow giggling trying to catch his breath, he cups his hands around his mouth ''Don't worry Kyle's not the one doing the defiling!'' 

''Jason!'' He hears the three of the call he can just picture how red Kyles face is, there are feet pounding up the stairs, grinning he thinks Kyles about to come through to argue and yell he sits back up waiting for him.

And when the feet finally reach his door standing there is Roy, grinning.

''You're a jerk Jaybird,'' Jason smirks and shrugs. 

''He had it coming,'' Had it for a while now. Roy laughs at his response.

''Not gonna argue with you there but Uncle Hals dragging Kyle to Ollie and Dinah now so he'll probably be mad at you forever,''

Jasons eyes widen in surprise, ''No way! Really? Oh man, I couldn't even plan it to be that perfect, Ollie finding out his babys having sex with a Lantern'' He gasps out laughing, both knowing Ollie thinks Lanterns are terrible at relationships because they'd be mostly long distance, looking at Hal's history.

''Yeah, he's probably gonna have a heart attack in like twenty minutes,''

''Right, well their goes your old man, did the other lanterns go too?''

Roy steps closer, ''Yeah but they said they'll go to the watchtower instead,''

Roys feet hit his bed where he put his own feet down sometime during their conversation, Jason looks up at Roy wondering why he got so close but didn't want him to back away just yet.

''Kyle said something pretty interesting, was wondering if it was true.''

Jason thought his heart stopped again, avoiding looking into Roys emerald eyes, he said ''When does Rayner not exaggerate things,'' The lie slipping past his lips, ''I mean when we first met he thought I had the hots for Donna.'' 

_Distract Roy, change subject_

''Did Lian wake up? '' 

_Good, c'mon power through_

''No, and he thought everyone liked Donna, but he said--''

_Cut him off now!_

''Yeah and somehow he found his way on Connors di--''

_Abort, abort too close to this. Abort!_

''He said you were just jealous''

_What? Fucking hell, Kyle!_

''I don't like Connor like that, no offense.'' Jason furrowed hs eyebrows in confusion, while Roy moved to his side and sat next to him.

''Not of Connor,''

He hoped that Kyle wasn't dumb and made everything harder by claiming Jason liked his stupid ass instead of Roy.  
''I might gag if you suggest I like Rayner like that,''

Roy huffed a laugh looking right at him serious this time, ''He said you were jealous he can get it with his arrow and you cant.''

_Shit_

''Oh.''

''Yeah, do you-is that something you want Jaybird?'' Roys face was blank and unreadable when he look straight at him, does Jason really want to go down this road and possibly lose the best guy hes ever known.

''Does it matter?''

''It matters to me.'' Roy firmly stated, not giving away any other of his thoughts on the subject.

''I -I yeah I guess,''

''You guess?''

''I'm such a mess right now and I dont know if on the other side of this I'll be any better,'' His fingers twitch craving a cigarette to soothe his stress and panic from this situation.

''Jay,'' Hands grip his face, pulling him close towards the ginger archer, ''It's not like I'm any different, we both got stuff to work on, if you want I dont mind doing it together.'' He smiles such a beautiful smile that all those problems of his, he forgets in a moment.

_He likes me?_

''But I'm not you,''

''What do you mean?''

''You're -- you're beautiful,'' He whispers, Roy pulls his cheeks and pushes them together a few times, his eyes bore into all the scars he has on his face and neck.

And leans in to place a kiss on each one.

A kiss on the scar from the batarang .

On the 'J'

On the marks left behind from the helmet. 

On some insignificant ones he doesn't remember having or getting.

And on the part of his forehead that touches the white strands of his hair.

'' We'll work on that together, do you want me to kiss the others, Jaybaby?'' He winks, pushes Jason to lie down on his bed holding his own arms out to stretch over and above Jason, ''Or should we leave that for later?'' he continues softly. 

Jasons eyes are wet, looking up at Roy, ''Are you sure?''

There were others, Kori or Donna he could go back to if thats all this was about.

Or some of Roys old Titan friends from back in the day.

Or pretty much anyone would be a smarter choice.

Roy kisses each of his eyes ''I'm sure.''

''But what about Lian,'' Jason had known her since she was just a couple months old and he would be devastated if she hated him.

Roy nuzzles his face against Jasons, ''There's a reason why everyone is Auntie and Uncle and you're Jayjay to her.'' Jason grips his hands tightly at Roys hips, not fully comprehending what he was just told.

_She gives him a special name_

_Roy didn't want her to see him as just another uncle_

_He wasnt delusional_

_Roy liked him_

_ROY LIKES HIM_

Jason lifts his arms to wrap around Roys back pulling him down chest to chest, ''Can we just stay like this for now, please?'' He whispered, absolutely elated and holding in all his cheers.

Roy hums as his face is pushed firmly to Jasons neck, ''Of course, babe.''

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to make this long and start something but writing this made me want to write some JayKyle so I'll start that soon instead


End file.
